The Image Complex

I think one of the hardest parts of growing up is dealing with image.

The image we have of ourself and what we believe others see when they look at us.

I think image plays a key role in dictating how we act, 

what we do or don't do 

and what guides us in our decision making.

Now I know you are going to think me completely "off my rocker"  when I mention that Jack got me thinking about this....

but it is true.

You see, I was the kid that always had to stand in the back row with the boys for the class photo. 

I imagine I was somewhat of an oddity to the boys,

because for the most part 

I towered over them.

My size possibly heightened (could not resist...sorry)

their own sense of inadequacy given they were still short and desperately waiting to grow.

Yes, I remember my height being instrumental in a lot of the feelings I had about my own image.

There were the birthday parties where a pile of shoes would be stacked by the door and 

some arriving parent would feel the need to comment on the size of my shoes compared to those of a much smaller and more petite friend.

Ouch!!

They meant no harm really. 

They probably just thought that it was cute... the other end of cuteness... right?

But in those days, it stopped me dead in my tracks every time.

I would stare down at those very tiny, fit in the palm of my hand little Adidas and imagine what it would be like to own them.

A size 5 

versus my rather awkward... size 9. 

I guess the only good thing was that I had no inkling that 9 would eventually become 10.

I remember the comments by parents of friends that felt desperate to tell me that I should play basketball.

But I really sucked at basketball. 

They just didn't know that.

They only knew that I was tall.

I remember feeling very inadequate because of it.

I had a sense of not belonging or fitting in.

I recall going on a friends boat and her father informing me that due to my height I probably counted for 2 people versus 1.

Oh how I desperately wanted to be short.

Somehow short was cute and little and sweet and adorable and....

well, not tall.

But, that just wasn't me.

I grew quickly and reached my ultimate height of 5 ft. 7 and a half by the time I entered high school.

So when I looked at Jack the other night sitting next to his peeps in the living room

I wondered if he was feeling that way.

Jack turned two not very long ago.

That means he would be 14 in human years 

which puts him smack dab in the middle of that very time 

when I too was feeling like a misfit.

These days Jack squeezes himself into places that would normally seem more appropriate for a 

small dog...

not a tall, big dog.

Jack is a golden doodle.
He is social, very social.
And, I would guess that he is now fully grown 

and attempting to deal with his rather large size 

compared to that of his pug girlfriend Maisey.

He would probably love to sport a cute wool sweater coat in the winter months like she does
or have a different costume for Christmas when she plays one of Santa's little elves with her sweet tiny elf costume that somebody carefully picked up at one of those boutique pet shops.

Nope, Jack will never fit in to any of the clothing that is presently marketed for dogs these days
and I am thinking that just maybe he feels like I did about those palm-sized Adidas.

 I think he too would like to wear a size 5 rather than a size 9.

So, Jack
we have all decided that

nobody around here is going to complain

when you struggle to get up on laps

and attempt to cuddle next to us like any little dog might do.

Nope, we are just going to smile and appreciate you for who you are.... 
Just loveable Jack.

I am sharing Jack over at A Stroll Through Life